This really Ps me O. [haha, censorship](stick it to the man)

I CAN'T GET TO SCHOOL.
There's no effing way, there's like twenty feet of snow piled up in my driveway. I can't even get on the bus without literally climbing mountains.
Like i'd ride the bus anyway.
But still.
It's that fucking snowy outside and there's STILL SCHOOL.

But I have this hope that I'll get out of my shower to broadcasts of people saying "school is canceled all over the states of WY, CO, UT, MT, blahbalbhlabhT.

lol.

Today is the first day this school week where I have been up before seven AtotheM.
Bleh.
And I have to wake up at four tomarrow so I can leave my house at five tomarrow to get to someplace that normally takes fifteen goddamned mintues to get to to arrive by 5:50. lol.
Did that make sense?
Translation: I do NOT want to go to work tomarrow.
Oh wellll. It'll be okay. Maybe I'll get stuck. Have to deal with nice/hot/beautiful/amazing/perfect/funny turkish boy thats name could start with an I. or maybe and e. Some sort of vowel, I think. The fish boy. (haha, eels. no one gets it. :( )

I'm fighting the battle for who could care less?

So today pretty much sucked. Slept through my damn alarm[I got your love letters, corrected the grammar and sent them back], drove on icy damn roads, fucked when I swore I wouldn't, failed chemistry and life, drove home on icy roads with flat tires, fixed my flat tires, went back home, sat on my ass, blogged.
[It's true romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head]
Woohoo, I have an amazing life.
[I'm casually obsessed and I've forgiven death,
I am indifferent, yet (I am a total wreck)
I'm every cliche, but I simply do it best.]

wow, long music pause, there.

[I went to sleep a poet, and I woke up a fraud,
To calm your nerves I'm feeling for my clothes in the dark.
Which came first, the music or the misery?]

Jesus, I'm cold.

If it snows next weekend, the first fucking idiot to ask me when the goddamned snow is going to end is going to die. Do I LOOK like god to you?? Do you seriously think that I, a puny, young cashier, controls both the weather and the roads, and the fuckers driving on it? NO! I'm just as stuck as you are, so stop your fucking bitching.
Rawr.

I get pissed easily when it's this frio.
haha, espanol.
wow.

I only need 8 more credits to graduate. I'll get 4.5 this semester, then I only have to show up less than one day every other day, and I'll be good.
Shweet.

I'm taking spanish 1020, Nutrition, and Criminology this semester. Fuck yeah.

Antonia

My song-of-the-day is posted at the bottom. I love it. It's sweet.
I'm terrified for the day [indiana jones] when my father dies. Even thinking about it gives me a near panic attack, or at least some of the symptoms.
Speaking of PAs, I'm starting to get them on a regular basis. I had to pull over today because I was freaking out so bad. But it's not like they're brought on by nothing, they always have a trigger like bad roads or adrenaline...
But I shouldn't feel that freaked out. And I hate my heart beating funny and my eyes going nuts.
Oh well.
[notch in your bedpost]
So, I caught my father listening to my iTunes the other day. He admitted that my music is good. I was happy. It was cool. Noun verb adjective.

I hate travelers.[poptarts and sex] The roads closed today and I had to deal with them all fucking eight hours.
but.
I am the
QUEEN
or customer service.

I deserve a raise :)

Imma kill Ike, though.


She makes a lot of abstract art
She haggles for the cheapest price
She never orders take out food before ten o'clock at night
She really into snowmobiles
She owns a lot of nice flashlights
She cares for all the stupid cats that never found their way home
She shaves her legs with Ginsu knives
She quotes a lot of Annie Hall
She misplaced her virginity back in 1995
She's what's keeping me alive
She the pizza of my eye
Without her near me I would not survive

It gets cold when she's not around
I float until I sink and am swallowed up
It's so cold when she's not around
I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine

She's always eating Captain Crunch
She sings a lot of Ben Folds Five
She's scared to death of cobra snakes
Just like Indiana Jones
She tells the dumbest knock-knock jokes
She drinks a lot of Chardonnay
She hates the way I comb my hair
But she married me last June
She was the bride I was the groom
I cried a lot and then we spooned
Without her in my life I would be doomed

It gets cold when she's not around
I float until I sink and am swallowed up
It's so cold when she's not around
I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine
Tell me I'll be fine

She loves the smell of Christmas trees
She sneezes when she sees bright lights
She fainted on the kitchen floor
When her father passed away
Our baby girl is due this may
And when the little lady grows up
I hope that she will be just like her mother

I suck at life.

So, I've managed to piss off almost everyone in my life, with the exception of Brana.
How?
I don't know.
Actually, I do know. It's a series of backstabbing bitchiness in which I AM NOT THE ONLY GUILTY PARTY.
Becky bitches about cherish, I bitch back. Cherish bitches about becky. I sometimes bitch back. Becky bitches about candace. I look at her and someitmes agree.
Becky tells cherish I bitch about her and doesn't mention that she's the one saying most of it! So cherish tells becky that I also bitch about her.
Whoopdi doo.

This sick friendship I have going on with becky is quite abusive to me. (prolly her, too.)
First of all, she hates me. Yeah, then why do we hang out?? I dunno. I like her, but its also because I'm a very needy person and have to be with someone basicly all of the time or else I go crazy ("I get lost, messed up and bored when i'm alone too long. I can't sleep, function or eat when I'm not with someone") and we've been doing this thing forever.
Grr. And she's fun to bitch with.
But it fucking hurts my feelings when shes being...well, for lack of a better vocabulary, mean and I can't stand it. The only one I really bitch that much about it cherish. And I like cherish. when shes being Cherish, that is.

God, I send myself into exile all too often.
[the panic begins...I suffocate until the end]
High School sucks.

You can't get drunk off of pucker. easily.
and i'm still thinking about how I hit travis.
And god i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me.

I'm a fucking skank, a bitch, a liar, a backstabber, fat, worthless, rude, mean, off-kilter...

god.

[it had to be you, I knew it was you]

All dressed up with some medicine for luck...

So I ran over someone today.
He's got hairline fractures in his elbow.
I feel awful.
He says he's okay, though. Imma give him money. Or something. I dunno.

Fuck.

The parents will never know.

Too tired to play pretend...

Last Night
-Motion City Soundtrack

I'm still frustrated from last night
Things happened at half-time, I'm sick of the bends
My panic research was no help
I sink into myself
Afraid of the fall that never ends
I wait, but I'm too tired to play pretend
I suffocate until the end

No time for halfhearted goodbyes,
I turn on the spotlight and flee from the scene
Cheap flights from Paris to Bangkok, I thought it was nonstop
Can't sleep on the KLM again
I haunt the halls of medicine at night
Choking back the urge to fight

Her cat was clawing the floorboards just outside of our door,
The panic begins
I searched the whole damn apartment from ceiling to carpet
No sign of the things she used to own
As autumn turns its back on me again
I climb the walls for oxygen

My body aches, it heaves, it shakes
All summer sounds so caught up
And I still don't know exactly who I am
I never will, amen.

She whispers something in my ear, the message is unclear
She motions outside.
I trail her closely from behind
She tries hard not to cry
She shakes underneath the pouring rain

I can't compete with all your damn ideas
This isn't working out for you and me
The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend

This is goodbye, this is the end.